Tag: writing

Imposter Syndrome

Taylor Burton

It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not.”

Denis Waitley

Imposter syndrome struck hard during the last few months. I had trouble believing that my writing had a purpose once I felt emotionally whole. My writing always carried such a tragic tone. Yet, there was a touch of hope that flowed throughout each piece I had written.

On the one hand, I thought it was (and still believe) a great outlet to let out my emotions when I had trouble expressing myself. But, on the other hand, when I view my writing now, I see a girl I don’t recognize in the mirror.

I was full of despair and hopelessness, and I thought that became my identity.

I was shocked that I had such emotion before I got help for my anxiety and depression. Then, when I tried to write again, I had a difficult time because I didn’t know who I was.

As I study in school, I look back to Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Development stages we all go through. While I am older than twenty, I find myself stuck in the “Identity vs. Role Confusion” stage.

Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages of Development occurred from birth until death for those who aren’t psychology crazed like I am. Specifically, I am referring to the “Identity vs. Role Confusion stage from ages twelve-twenty” (Broderick & Blewitt, 2020).

Specifically, the stage talks about positive and negative outcomes that come out of the phase and the significant events experienced during this stage.

The adolescent must move toward adulthood by making choices about values, vocational goals, etc.

(Broderick & Blewitt, 2020).

There is no timeline when you leave the Identity vs. Role Confusion stage. As I move through my twenties, I think about who I am every day and am proud of who I have become. However, it is a battle when I have to put out fires that disregard my values and beliefs.

The main point of this blog is this. You may find yourself in moments where you question who you are and if you are good enough to continue your craft. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay! There will be moments where you have to test yourself. Meaning there will be times that will define who you are and what you believe in.

You constantly change everyday. So, who will you be?

References

Broderick, P. C., & Blewitt, P. (2020). The life span: Human development for helping professionals (5th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: Pearson Education.

Featured Image: Photo by Chris Yang on Unsplash

Bear it All

Taylor Burton

There was a time in my life where I thought emoting was a bad thing. To always be emotional and to never keep those moments to yourself always felt weird and outlandish. But, I have always been a passionate person. Someone who always wore her heart on her sleeve, and it was (and still is) difficult growing up that way. I like to say I have a lot of love in my heart for things and people, even when it breaks repeately.

As I grow older, I realized that emoting is not necessarily a terrible thing, especially when you’re a writer. So If I ever felt uncomfortable, sad, angry, excited and needed to find an outlet to express these emotions, I always stuck with my writing.

No matter what, writing gave me the escape I needed to free myself. Open up my mind and dream a whole other existence. I could always depend on my laptop and word processor to give me a leg up on how I was feeling at the time. Each time I take a breath and write, I immediately felt better about each situation.

“Don’t be afraid to bear your emotions to the world and expel your feelings into your writing.”

If there has been a time in your life that needed introducing, there is no time like the present! So take your ideas, grab a pen, some paper, or go online and write them down. Don’t worry about it being grammatically correct, spelled right, or even the spaces. Just write how you feel and don’t stop. You can fix all the grammatical errors at a later date.

Do your best to give yourself some creative freedom to let all of the baggage go. Claim it and write it so you can own it and wear it proudly.

Featured Image: Photo by Green Chameleon on Unsplash

The Feeling I Got When I Presented My Livelihood

Taylor Burton

On January 14th, 2021, I presented my writing for the first time at an open mic. I was nervous about what other people would think. I mean, yeah, I have some supportive friends and a lovely supportive boyfriend, but these were strangers. They had no obligation to me or my writing and were free to hate it all they wanted.

Because of the pandemic, open mics are mostly virtual now. That took a little bit of the edge off me. Knowing that I didn’t have to get on a stage with a spotlight in my eye curbed my anxiety.

I was the first to present out of the two performers of the night, so I took a deep breath, opened up my first poem, and poured my heart out to these strangers. I felt liberated and electrified. The more I shared, the more I let go out of the suppressed emotions I was feeling. It was a release to finally share about the previous relationships and trauma in my life. It was amazing to be a true storyteller.

I thought to myself, “Why the hell were you so nervous? Sharing was awesome!”

My writing tends to tell stories about the darker side of life. Mostly because things that I experienced in my *albeit short* life felt that way. Sometimes the light I reached for, the light that I desperately craved to shine its warmth on my face, never came. I stayed in the dark for a long time.

When I shared my writing and told my stories to the audience, it gave me the closure that I needed to shut those chapters from life. I could finally begin anew.

Because life is always greener on the other side.

How do you feel when you share your work? Feel free to let me know in the comments below! 🙂

Featured Image Source: Photo by Santtu Perkiö on Unsplash

What Does Writing Mean to Me and You?

Taylor Burton

When I started writing and discovered the world of literature, I realized that while I had some work to do, I could make a living doing this. So, I turned to everyone I could—friends, family, onlookers and read them what I could. Anytime I wanted to read my work; however, no one was interested, and I started breaking down. I kept my writing to myself and stopped sharing.

Over the years, I learned that you had to share your writing no matter what. It doesn’t matter that they may not want to listen (though that should be a cue that you may need to work on your writing if EVERYONE doesn’t want to pay attention), but there will always be critics who won’t enjoy your stuff.

It’s okay that they don’t enjoy it! I’ve discovered an essential part of being a writer is that you need to keep that confidence in yourself. If you want to be a great writer, having the ability to believe in yourself will be the greatest weapon you could weld.

As I’ve reached young adulthood, some people asked me to see my writing. Their faith in me caused me to grow, and I’m learning to become less bashful when reading my stuff. It’s a work in progress, but overall, I understand that the power for growth in this industry is the belief in myself.

What does your writing mean to you? How can you flourish and blossom into someone who loves their writing and celebrates the good in it?

Well, are you willing to accept (constructive) criticism? There will be people out there who want to help any way they can. While yes, you should ignore the haters, please take constructive criticism to guide you to better work and not as an insult.

Do you have the means to share your writing? There are plenty of readings and open mics to share your work and make it visible. I’ve listed a few below that are currently doing virtual (free) readouts due to the pandemic.

Nuyorican Poets Cafe based in NY
Open Mic NYC based in NY
Phoenix Books (JAN 28TH) based in AZ
STING’s Hive LLC (Open Mic Sunday’s) based in OR
STING’s Hive LLC (Coffee W/ Creative’s) based in OR
THE MUGG based in NC

Do you want to share more about what your writing means to you? Let me know in the comments below! 🙂

Feature Image Source: Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash